This provocative headline was on a Washington Post article a few years ago that featured two women physicians at the Mayo Clinic who had noticed that their male colleagues were usually introduced at conferences as âDoctor So-and-so.â But the two women and other female doctors were often introduced by their first names, when the person introducing them was a man.
Last year, I heard the pilot of my flight introduce himself using his title of captain, but then introduce his co-pilot by her first name only.
And most recently a Wall Street Journal opinion piece by Joseph Epstein made minimizing remarks about Jill Bidenâs use of her title “Dr.”, including the comment: Any chance you might drop the âDr.â before your name? âDr. Jill Bidenâ sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.
Is the use of titles a big deal? Yes. I believe it is.
How people address you and what you call yourself really do matter. Names â and titles â have power. Names and titles may confer dignity, or take it away. They influence how you are perceived, and whether people take you seriously.
Though the problem of unequal introductions may not be on the same level as eliminating sexual harassment or the gender pay-gap, it is a communication concern with negative implications for women.
Denying professionals the prestige that a title conveys is a subtle way of undermining them.
Whom would you take more seriously, or believe was more competent: âDr. Tom Jonesâ or âSally Smithâ? It seems obvious that it would be the person with the title, because that testifies to his training and professionalism.
The following six suggestions on use of titles and names will help you stop negatively influencing othersâ perception of women, even inadvertently. These tips apply for both men and women, and to writing emails.
1. Be consistent with your use of titles. Use professional titles equally for both men and women. If you are mentioning a man by his title, such as Doctor Jones or Professor Smith, refer to a woman the same way. This is valid whether you are giving a speaker introduction, introducing someone to other people at the office or in social situations, or simply mentioning people in informal discussions.
2. Use a womanâs title. Some organizations are very informal with names, but if professional titles are typically used in your organization, refer to women by theirs, such as Dr. (Sally) Jones.
3. Refer to friends/colleagues by their titles when in business settings. You may have a great relationship with Dr. Jones and use her first name when you are together. When you are with other people, however, you should refer to her by her title. You are recognizing her achievement in front of others. If you do not do this, you are establishing a norm that tells people itâs okay for them to call her by her first name. And that may not be the case. (This also applies to men.)
4. Be consistent with the honorific âMr.â and âMs.â This is similar to the first item. If you say or write, âMr. Williams,â do the same for the woman, âMs. Jones.â This conveys a level of respect for both parties. You do not want to say something like, âMr. Williams and Karen went to the meeting.â In an informal setting you might also use first names for both, such as âTom and Karen went to the meeting.â
5. Refer to women in the workplace as âwomen.â Businessmen arenât referred to as boys; businesswomen shouldnât be referred to as girls. The words âgirlsâ and âboysâ indicate children. I know, I know, you are going to say that itâs intended as a compliment, or itâs a way of expressing camaraderie, as in âgirlsâ night outâ or âthe girls I work with in the office.â But ultimately it fosters a less-professional image for women.
6. Donât use a womanâs nickname or shorter form of her first name âunless you know it is okay to do so or are asked to do so. Children are often called by nicknames. And many shortened names do not have the same standing as full names. My name is Barbara. Do not call me âBarb,â and definitely not âBarbie.â This situation can be tricky. Sometimes people, especially high-power people, will use their nicknames to seem friendly and more approachable. Christine Todd Whitman, the first woman governor of New Jersey and former head of the EPA, will often refer to herself as Christie Whitman. (Her current website is www.christiewhitman.com.)
Men also can be influenced by shortened names. According to a story about basketball legend Michael Jordan on the CBS show 60 Minutes a few years ago, he went from being called âMike Jordanâ to âMichael Jordanâ after he scored the winning basket in the 1982 NCAA championship game.
(Note: At the beginning of my blog I didnât refer to the author of the WSJ article as Joe or Joey Epstein. I used Joseph Epstein–giving him some measure of respect, which he seemingly didnât want to give the First Lady-elect.)
Start paying attention to your word choices. You may be surprised at how you have been referring to women. Additional information on communication can be found in my book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes.
*This is a repost of a previous blog. It has been updated.
Pachter & Associates provides seminars and coaching on communication, business writing, professional presence, and presentation skills. Contact Joyce Hoff at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information (www.pachter.com)